Author: Michelle D. Gladieux

What is conflict management?

Conflict management is a communication process that allows a solution when conflicts arise at work. This communication process has to be initiated by someone. If you aspire to greater career success, YOU should initiate the process. Conflict management involves metamorphosis: destructive emotional states evolve into constructive emotional states through a problem-solving process that allows you to better yourself, your employees, and the climate in your organization. Many participants in my conflict resolution seminars comment to me that once they’ve successfully worked through an impasse or uncomfortable situation with a co-worker, the work relationship grows stronger and subsequent conflicts are more easily managed.

Why should I build my conflict management skills?

A manager with conflict communication skills is at an optimal position to improve company operations and workflow. The manager without conflict handling skills typically does more harm than good when she attempts to mediate disagreements.

Seek to build problem-solving skills. Keep in mind that with each educated attempt at managing conflict, you’ll see your skills improving – and so will your boss.

Conflict is dysfunctional in the workplace.

It doesn’t have to be. The cost of conflict and the quality of the outcomes associated with it depend on your skill as a communicator, problem-solver, and mediator.

Conflict represents communication breakdown.

Well, perhaps initially it does. Remember our definition – changing destructive emotional states into constructive states? Constructive communication means clarifying issues. I’m always amazed at the number of conflicts that dissolve as I work with clients and ask them to clarify their concerns and position as disputants. Often times, the miscommunication of information is the only conflict that exists.

Avoid the conflict and it will eventually go away.

Too good to be true. Simply put, conflicts escalate if ignored. Avoidance is ineffective.

ALL conflicts can be resolved.

Not all conflicts can be resolved to all involved parties’ satisfaction. But MOST conflicts can be managed. If you choose not to manage effectively when conflict arises by confronting the problem, absenteeism and voluntary turnover can be the result.

Conflict always results in a winner and a loser.

Dealing with conflict effectively can be WIN-WIN, if you use the following problem-solving steps. Remember – here’s where it falls on your shoulders as a leader.

A – Assume the other person means well. Announce this as you begin facilitating the problem-solving process of communication.

E – Express your specific concern. If you’re mediating, invite each disputant to take a few minutes to clarify their specific worries and problems.

I – Identify the outcome each party wants to achieve. Here’s where compromise may occur naturally. Or, by this point, you may find that all that was needed was a good dose of active listening to clarify misunderstandings.

O – Outcomes – If you can’t get one disputant to see things from the other’s perspective, use some selling skills. What’s in it for them if they agree to compromise or accommodate? Don’t forget one of the most powerful motivators is simply recognition. “Thanks, I appreciate your flexibility with this issue. I owe you one.” goes a long way toward harmony.

U – Understand the solution mutually. You and the involved parties have several alternatives to choose from in any problem situation. Choose one that seems reasonable to both parties and implement it. Follow up and repeat this process until one alternative offers satisfactory progress toward resolution.

When dealing with conflict

DO separate the person from the problem in your own mind. Acknowledge that there are some positive intentions related to the disputant’s interest or position.

DO prepare some proposals and constructive statements ahead of time, before the meeting occurs.

DO create an environment conducive to conflict resolution. Give the problem and the employees involved your complete, undivided and uninterrupted attention.

DO clarify misunderstandings using active listening skills. “What I hear you saying . . .” “Am I correct when I say that your biggest concern is . . .” Many conflicts are simply the result of faulty or rushed communication.

DO help the conflicting employees understand one another’s goals and intentions.

>> Subscribe to get blog updates by email.

1. kjams Says:
   November 5th, 2008 at 3:24 pm

   Great article Michelle. I often find people just want to be heard and understood and that seems to go a long way to diffusing conflict.

   Thanks!

2. Marica Grainey Says:
   December 22nd, 2009 at 4:16 pm

   I am impressed by the way you embraced this topic. It is not often I come across a website with hypnotic articles like yours. I will bookmark your feed to stay up to date with your succeeding updates.Just stunning and do uphold up the solid work.

3. Mercedes Dk Says:
   March 11th, 2010 at 5:50 am

   Hi – I would like to say thanks for an interesting post about a subject I have had an interest in for a while now. I have been looking in and reading the posts avidly so just wanted to express my gratitude for providing me with some very good reading material. I look forward to more, and taking a more proactive part in the discussions here, whilst learning too!!